My Most Laughable ‘Guest Post’ Offer to Date

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been getting swamped lately with offers from complete strangers to contribute guest posts to my blog. All these kind kind and selfless correspondents ask is a discreet link back to whatever it is they are trying to promote. Whoever dreamed this up as a marketing technique must have been under the influence of mind-altering substances.

That said, some of these offers are at least lucid and polite. And some even seem casually familiar with the coverage of my blog. But today I got one that, in just a few short sentences, says volumes about the person’s writing skills and command of the English language:

I have got your email from your website. I would like to know that, Do you accept legal advice and law related guest posts on your blog. I can provide you above 800 words based unique, researched, interesting and informative 100% copyscap protected article and haven’t been published anywhere else.

Please let me know if you are interested in my write-up, or do you want me to write something else. In return I need backlink in my Author bio section only. I hope you have the idea of guest blogging. If you think you have your own topic to write please send it to me and I’ll provide it to you according your requirements.

Waiting for your positive reply.

Tempted as I am by this generous offer, I am afraid my reply will not be positive. I am concerned that, should I accept it, the writer’s attempt to send me 800 words would cause Google Translate to crash.